Science at Its Best, Julian Jove reporting
A
surprising discovery in radio science has invalidated almost 40 years of
theoretical research. I am not making this up. New data from the old Explorer I
spacecraft, which recently sailed passed the “edge of nowhere” in outerspace and
has been returning reliable data for decades, has upset the space radio research
industry's apple cart.
Radio scientists have dutifully cranked the data and astrophysicists have formulated theory after theory to explain the effects revealed by it. Early models of the “edge of nowhere” gave scientists an “immutably solid foundation for further research” and justification for additional government funds. But wait, those solid theoretical foundations are crumbling. Improved modeling techniques, only possible as a result of technological advancements with personal wireless devices, such as the Iwatch, Itweezers and Ipiece, allowed scientists to move forward with new ideas.
Former all-American tobacconist and pawn broker turned radio scientist Professor Agatha Sousé and her colleague former goldbricker turned radio physicist Dr. Jack Belicec, both of the Flunkwell and Good University, way down upon the Suwanee River in Terryclothe, Texas, said recently in the campus newspaper Abilene Wailer “For us this has been an eye-opening experience. We were very surprised and, to say the least, impressed by the fact that researchers were really willing to speak to the data and allow the data to inform their models.” Sousé went on to say, “Generally, as is the custom in scientific research, the models rule and measured data that disagrees with the models are deleted from the catalog or altered to agree. Open-mindedness in this field is non-existent, that is for (doggone) sure. Anyhow, Explorer measurements have revealed mini-dark matter at the edge of the solar system. This was totally not predicted by any theory, past , present or future. So there you are, with no doubt whatsoever, absolutely solid proof of dark matter, and it was discovered in our own backyard, so to speak, by a decades-old spacecraft that only cost 3000 USD in 1958 dollars to launch.”