Sun’s Magnetic Field Scheduled to Reverse in May 2012, Julian Jove reporting
Approximately
every 11 years, our Sun reverses its magnetic field. The last reversal, which
took place during the early morning hours of 4 July, 2000, caused everything
from crop failures in the Libyan Desert to continuous streams of Category F6+
tornados in Liberal, Kansas USA, where the Wizard of Oz was filmed, to the
computer Y2K problems. Scientists from the Institute of Hot Science (IHS) have
predicted the next reversal, but the prediction is for no ordinary reversal. In
a press release, former criminal mastermind turned lead scientist, Dr. Duke
Mantee said “We crunched the numbers and our results show the next reversal will
occur within 1 or 2 nanoseconds of midnight, 31 May, 2012. However, rather than
simply reversing itself, the Sun’s magnetic field will morph into a quadrupolar
field with two south poles and two north poles. There no longer will be an east
or west. Furthermore, due to the interaction between the solar plasma and the
interplanetary magnetic field, known as the ‘oscillating two-stream
instability,’ ordinary solar compasses will no longer work and we believe all
satellites and spacecraft will lose their way and spin out of orbit.” He added,
“Our studies show the Sun’s behavior will definitely affect Earth’s climate, but
we will not release our current doomsday hypothesis until we receive additional
government funds.” In an accompanying press release, IHS reports “Our reversal
calculations have a confidence factor of 2 parts per quadrillion (ppq), easily
placing our studies in the top five for 2012. We expect to receive the Hobart
Prize for Accuracy and Precision” Asked if IHS staff has any special plans for
the day of the reversal, co-lead investigator Professor Cody Jarrett said “The
first thing we are going to do is buy a boatload of SPF1000 sunscreen lotion.”